Goldilocks and The Adventures of Baby Bear
by k137an
Summary: something that occurs when i get bored and i have my laptop. WARNING containe hairs, chairs, bears, C4, rainbow ponies and sword fights all in about 2000 words. yay.


Goldilocks and the three hairs.

One day Goldilocks woke up and she only had three hairs. On the first day she woke up with three hairs she looked into the mirror and decided she would make a wish for each day for each hair, she immediately wished that she was a princess and became a princess of bear land, on the second day she wished she was rich and she awoke the next morning with a room filled with gold and other treasure, on the final day when she only had one hair left she wished she had a full head of golden hair again and when she awoke the next morning, it was in her princess bed, with lots of treasure and flowing locks of wavy gold hair. The end.

Goldilocks and the three chairs.

One day princess Goldilocks awoke and decided she wanted a new chair, so after getting ready in her finest silk dress, she left her castle and found a seemingly abandoned cottage on the edge of the woods, after a short time she remembered it was the house of the bears, who she had recently had executed for chasing her out of the forest after she ate their porridge (except baby bear, he was her new pet.) just to spite the three bears, she decided that instead of buying a chair from an old shop, she would just take one from the bears house instead.

When she returned home that evening she was carrying the soft plushy chair that had once belonged to mummy bear, the baby bear recognised it quickly and began to cry so the princess threw him into a cell to rot. The end.

Baby Bears Great Escape.

Baby bear had been in his cell for only a week when he had planned his breakout, you see while most people thought he was an ordinary bear, he was actually a rare breed of bear who are born with an IQ of 5,000.

the next day when the guard came around, baby bear threw him a sucker punch before flying quickly through the air and delivering a double kick upon his opponent. When the guard was down, baby bear ran stealthily along the outskirts of the corridors to avoid being seen, one guard did spot him so he quickly broke his spine in several places, effectively killing him.

When baby bear had left the castle he heard some sirens go off and started running at full speed to the forest where he could easily lose the guards, just as he was about to enter he had a brilliant plan.

The guards were unsuspecting, they literally had no idea that baby bear had laid an amazing trap for them, all that need be said so far is C4.

Baby bear could here the sound of hooves on concrete, they were getting close. He saw some of the guards appearing an as the bear turned to walk away, he pulled a small switch from his pocket, he clicked the button and ten ton of undetected C4 went off around the castle and where the guards were resting,

"Ouch, that had to hurt." Baby bear chuckled to himself.

Baby bear had travelled for days before reaching a mysterious lake where he found the witch, she was practising her magic when baby bear wandered into her sight and after seeing how cute he was (if only she knew the truth!) decided to give _him_ three wishes, but he only wanted two. The first was for him and his parents name to be cleared, which the witch did quickly, to his satisfaction the second however was a lot trickier, he had wished for her to bring his parents back. The witch worked through the day and all through the night and finally she said her spell was complete. As she said she had done it, footsteps could be heard coming from just outside the lake area, as baby bear focused he saw mummy and daddy bear walking towards him, tears began to flow from his eyes and he ran towards them and they embraced him in a loving hug.

" I've missed you both so much!" he sobbed into mummy bears shoulder and the family kept on holding each other, re united once more. The witch let them live in her house with them, in case they ever got in trouble again and they all lived happily ever after.

Unless you are Goldilocks who was blown up by baby bears explosive trap, but other than that they all lived happily ever after. Oh and unless you were any of the guards that were killed as well. Oh and one last thing, you also didn't live happily ever after if you were the innocent civilians living in the city around Goldilocks castle because if you were, your dead as well, sorry about that. Oh and... you know what just forget it.

Goldilocks Returns?

_News report: "And our top story tonight is, rumours have finally been confirmed that the dark rainbow pony of evil land, swooped in and saved princess Goldilocks, just before the castle was destroyed by the terrible villain whose name for some reason the entirety of the worlds population cannot seem to remember. Oh well, I would say it can't be that important but he or she single handedly or with help I really don't know, destroyed the entire of Golden City, located in Bearland to the west of lion land, south of piranha city and just to the east of happy, fluffy kitten land. How ridiculous, I know. That was the news tonight brought to you by Gregory-Susan. Goodnight."_

"WHAT, HOW COULD SHE POSSIBLY HAVE SURVIVED?" Baby bear yelled at the T.V (yes bears have TVs as well now.)

" Ummmm what do you mean, it wasn't you that tried to destroy the city, was it?" Mummy bear asked.

" Uhhhh no of course not, that's impossible, I'm a baby." Baby bear said scratching his belly innocently, mummy bear however, didn't look convinced. All the bears continued to watch the telly, but baby bear was beginning to plot against Goldilocks, she was sure to want revenge and he would kill her before letting her take his family away... again.

" Yeah mummy, I'm just gonna go for a walk." Baby bear said sweetly and Mummy bear just nodded and continued to watch the telly.

" You know you guys your really turning into a modern family, you don't seem to care what your kid is doing as long as you can see the telly." Baby bear yelled.

" That's lovely dear." Mummy bear replied.

" Oof whatever." Baby bear snapped leaving the witches cottage. What he hadn't told anyone was that he had stolen one of the witches books and was planning to hunt down ex-princess Goldilocks and execute her properly. He flicked through the pages until he found the spell he wanted.

" _Equum Volantem Lucem Creare!_" Baby bear shouted waving his paws around in the air, as soon as he said it his paw began to glow black and a purple orb shot from the tip of his paw and exploded into an array of colours. When the explosion died down, a horse with wings and rainbows all over its body was stood, bowing gracefully. Baby bear instantly went to climb on.

" Whoa whoa whoa, what are you doing, climbing on me without a saddle? What if you fell off and hurt yourself, that might go on my criminal record!" The horse whined.

" Whatever I'll be fine, just take me to Goldilocks!" Baby bear ordered.

" Alrighty then, just one question." The horse began.

" And what would that be?" Baby bear asked, probably regrettably.

" Who in the name of rainbow horses is Goldilocks?" The horse asked. * **Facepalm * **

" The evil woman child that tried to kill my family." Baby bear replied.

" OK I will try and find her but you will have to fill me in on the whole story on the way." The horse replied.

Timeskip

"So then I planted like a tonne of C4 in her castle and tried to blow her up, but a dark rainbow pony saved her at the last second." Baby bear said recalling the story so far " Then I found a witch in a forest which is awfully convienient but she brought my family back to life and cleared our names, then I heard that she survived and I'm on my way to kill her again now."

Suddenly there was a large screeching sound and the flying horse came to a halt in mid-air.

" What the hell? How did you make brake screeches in the air?" Baby bear asked.

" Oh use your imagination, your a baby bear, who blew up a castle with a crazy princess inside who was then saved by a dark rainbow pony and now your on your way, riding a flying rainbow horse, to kill her. Again, but that brings me to why I stopped, I don't want to assist deaths in any way." The horse replied with his jaw dropped low.

" OK I see your point about the crazy stuff but killing her has to be done before she does more evil stuff." Baby bear replied.

" No I refuse" The horse replied suckily.

" Fine then I guess I have no choice." Baby bear said flicking throught the pages of the witches spell book " _Staminis Ad Me Inimicus._" Suddenly Baby bear disappeared from the horses back and appeared right in front of Goldilocks.

" BEAR!" She shrieked.

" EVIL LADY!" Baby bear yelled and suddenly both of them drew swords out of nowhere.

" This is so on." Baby bear beckoned.

" When I'm done with you I'm going to stuff you and you can be my teddy bear." Goldilocks retorted and both of them began to fiercly swing their swords at eachother, clanging together as quickly as they came apart.

After fighting for a few minutes, beads of sweat were beginning to form on the pairs heads.

" You fight like a girl." Goldilocks taunted.

" You are a girl." Baby bear replied laughing, but Goldilocks took this as an oppurtunity and slashed her sword towards him, he barely had enough time to react and narrowly avoided being sliced in two and was left with a deep cut spreading the width of his stomache, he screamed in pain and the insane princess began to walk up to him, menacingly slowly.

" Any last words, Bear?" she asked raising her sword.

" Yes three actually." Baby bear replied.

" And what would that be?" She asked.

" _Inimicus Meus Male."_ Baby bear replied and immediately dark tentacles began to rise from the ground, they entwined around her body and began to drag her downwards, through the floor and to his surprise, she was actually sinking.

" No, No, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she shrieked before sinking fully through the floor.

" Boom and the cow is gone." Baby bear whispered before falling to the floor, his wound of the stomache beginning to cause serious damage. He knew this was the end. He quickly tore the last page out of the witches book and using the only ink he had, his own blood, he wrote his final message. It was just one word and he screwed the paper up and clenched it tightly, waiting for death to embrace him.

" I'm afraid to say, your son has passed away." The doctor informed Mummy and Daddy bear at the hospital, just twenty-one and a half hours after the battle. The couple immediately broke down into tears.

" When the body was retrieved, we found him clenching this in his paw." the doctor said handing the pair a piece of scrunched up paper. Daddy bear stuffed it into his pocket and began to cry again, holding Mummy bear in a tight embrace.

Timeskip

The guests were in their seats. The coffin holding the body of Baby bear was waiting to be carried down the hall and Mummy and Daddy bear were cuddling together, both in tears, wearing the same clothes they had been wearing on the day of the news (they have changed since then, they just thought it seemed the right thing to do.)

After waiting a few more minutes the ceremony started and the coffin was carried into the room, slowly and gracefully, the room had no wall at the front end and it lead to the lake where Baby bear had first met the witch. He was going to buried at sea (or lake). Daddy bear reached into his pocket to get a tissue, but instead pulled out the note Baby bear had written before passing away. He unsrewed the paper and saw one word, written in blood, the note didn't appear to make any sense. He nudged Mummy bear and showed her the paper, which she read aloud.

" _Recreande?_" she said curiously and suddenly there was a large thump from inside the coffin. And again. And again. The carriers dropped it in surprise and a loudly audible groan was heard from inside. Mummy and Daddy bear tiptoed towards the coffin and slowly opened the lid. Inside Baby bear was rubbing his belly and muttering about being dropped.

" MUMMY, DADDY, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE YOU AGAIN!" He shouted and the bears instantly realised what the word on the paper was. A spell for life and because Mummy bear had read it aloud, the spell had brought Baby bear back to life. The family began to hug each other madly (again) while some members of the crowd started to pass out with shock. Finally the family could be happy and live in peace. For now.


End file.
